

Jack and Beth did not feel like writing Option #2, but they knew it was the right thing to do if they wanted to avoid the email merry-go-round, and to possibly avoid a potential lawsuit.

But writing under the influence of snap is dangerous writing and the opposite of what’s required to de-escalate the conflict and avoid further back-and-forth emails. After several years of Tyler’s undermining behavior, Beth and Jack snapped. They didn’t feel like using the time and discipline required to write a BIFF Response®. It’s only going to escalate the conflict. This is the easiest way to respond because it only requires spewing out what’s brewing in your brain. Jack and Beth felt like writing Option #1. This isn’t easy information to absorb, but please know your work has been highly valued and you’ve been an integral part of the team. On your request, Beth and I will write a letter of recommendation and provide references whenever you need them. If you can think of anything that we might have overlooked, please let us know.

We’d like to get this handled over the coming 30-60 days, which provides ample time to find a new position if that is what you’d like to do. We have compiled a list of everything that will need to be transferred over to us, which you will find attached. We apologize for doing this via email but we chose it this way because we all work remotely and email has been our normal mode of communication. You’ve been working with us for a long time, so this has not been easy decision for us but we have to do what is best for the company. We are sorry to inform you that we need to find someone with a strong marketing background to fulfill your duties. We’ve realized that we need strong marketing expertise to reach these goals, which requires a new hire. We are planning to ramp up our marketing in order to see a minimum 10% growth over the next 12-18 months, which is going to take a lot of communication and planning to accomplish. Why? Because you’re now in your emotion/defensive brain, so you’re going to be communicating emotion brain-to-emotion brain instead of logic brain-to-emotion brain, and when you do, you’ve just lost the ability to manage the communication and it is instead managing you!ĭear Tyler – We’ve been working on next year’s strategic plan. Now you may be hooked by their HCP emotion/defensive right brain making it nearly impossible to respond with BIFF. Sometimes they finally push that final button and you feel the anger or annoyance reach new levels. If it’s a colleague you’ve been dealing with for years, or an employee or boss who has a long history of hostility and blaming behavior along with other HCP behaviors like hiding information, gossiping about you, lording authority over you, then it’s not quite so easy to respond in the way you know you should. If it’s a client taking jabs at you, writing a BIFF Response® may be an easy task.
#Biff method skin#
Sometimes the HCP communication doesn’t get under your skin and is easy to respond to.
